Ghosted!
I've heard it several times now from men and women who participate in online dating: "I was ghosted!" Meaning, of course, that the person they were in communication with suddenly disappeared without a trace. They were expecting the sound of his voice on the other end of the line, or at least a few words via text. She was supposed to meet him at the local coffee shop at 7 PM, and she didn't show. The person disappeared in a diaphanous fog or was levitated into oblivion. Budding love died before it bloomed, and hope died with it. It sucks!
For all who have been wounded by this cruel disappearing act, I can relate. In fact, most realtors know the throes of despair being ghosted can create. Our scenario is quite similar, actually. Zillow, the online real estate equivalent of finding a date, woos the would-be client with pictures of our perfect listing. The price seems right. Our testimonials don't reek. Looks like we might be a decent realtor with a pleasant listing. Of course, the realtor who is contacted by the individual doing the online search for the perfect home doesn't have any idea how many other unsuspecting realtors have been preyed upon by the starry-eyed searcher for the perfect home. This could be it! The one...who buys our listing or another home from us because they like us...they really like us.
The date is set for a meeting. The caller wants to see a couple of homes with us. We seem to click. They like us. We like them. (In my case, I'm glad I found the homes they want to see without having to make too many u-turns because I got turned around.) We didn't catch anyone in the shower. We laughed. We spoke seriously about their needs and desires. They don't have a lender, so we provide them with the information they need. One home seems to suit all their needs. We are excited. They are excited! "Let's talk tomorrow!"
Tomorrow: Not too early, we call to see how they are feeling about that house they loved just yesterday. Since there is no answer, we leave a cheery message, expecting to hear back. After all, we got along great! By late in the afternoon, there is still no response. Oh, well, they got really busy today. I'll leave a quick text. Nothing. Before bed, we shoot a quick email: Wondering what you are thinking about that home you loved. Please let me know what you've decided. And, by the way, how did it go with your conversation with a lender?
Nothing. It's like the universe went silent. Like we don't exist and never did. Like we didn't spend the entire day with people who asked a thousand questions, told us their life story, couldn't believe they'd found such an amazing realtor. It's the same kind of kick in the gut a person feels in the dating world. If you take it that way, it says you don't matter. I was just using you. It's not personal....but it sure feels like it. Plus, it's just rude!
Bottom line: Just let us know you aren't interested in pursuing a business relationship with us. I know there are some who will bug you until you want to jump into the Pacific, but most of us respect your decision to not use us. We would much rather know you are a perpetual online shopper who goes out on a regular basis with other realtors hoping to find the perfect commission compensation or the lowest price or just someone you like better than you like us. Just, please, don't disappear without a trace.
For all who have been wounded by this cruel disappearing act, I can relate. In fact, most realtors know the throes of despair being ghosted can create. Our scenario is quite similar, actually. Zillow, the online real estate equivalent of finding a date, woos the would-be client with pictures of our perfect listing. The price seems right. Our testimonials don't reek. Looks like we might be a decent realtor with a pleasant listing. Of course, the realtor who is contacted by the individual doing the online search for the perfect home doesn't have any idea how many other unsuspecting realtors have been preyed upon by the starry-eyed searcher for the perfect home. This could be it! The one...who buys our listing or another home from us because they like us...they really like us.
The date is set for a meeting. The caller wants to see a couple of homes with us. We seem to click. They like us. We like them. (In my case, I'm glad I found the homes they want to see without having to make too many u-turns because I got turned around.) We didn't catch anyone in the shower. We laughed. We spoke seriously about their needs and desires. They don't have a lender, so we provide them with the information they need. One home seems to suit all their needs. We are excited. They are excited! "Let's talk tomorrow!"
Tomorrow: Not too early, we call to see how they are feeling about that house they loved just yesterday. Since there is no answer, we leave a cheery message, expecting to hear back. After all, we got along great! By late in the afternoon, there is still no response. Oh, well, they got really busy today. I'll leave a quick text. Nothing. Before bed, we shoot a quick email: Wondering what you are thinking about that home you loved. Please let me know what you've decided. And, by the way, how did it go with your conversation with a lender?
Nothing. It's like the universe went silent. Like we don't exist and never did. Like we didn't spend the entire day with people who asked a thousand questions, told us their life story, couldn't believe they'd found such an amazing realtor. It's the same kind of kick in the gut a person feels in the dating world. If you take it that way, it says you don't matter. I was just using you. It's not personal....but it sure feels like it. Plus, it's just rude!
Bottom line: Just let us know you aren't interested in pursuing a business relationship with us. I know there are some who will bug you until you want to jump into the Pacific, but most of us respect your decision to not use us. We would much rather know you are a perpetual online shopper who goes out on a regular basis with other realtors hoping to find the perfect commission compensation or the lowest price or just someone you like better than you like us. Just, please, don't disappear without a trace.
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