Open House Can Be a Zoo
We live in Southern California by the beach, and if you've never been here, you won't know that for some reason most of us can leave our doors and windows open without all the flies and June bugs that careened into our Texas home when I was growing up in Fort Worth. There are usually a couple of weeks in late summer when we long for the air conditioning that most of us didn't purchase with our homes because...well...we live near those cool ocean breezes. The nice weather is why we real estate professionals can open all the doors and windows when we have open houses for our listings. The new accordion doors are popular here, creating a seamless indoor-outdoor space for entertaining and relaxing near a fire pit while the barbeque sizzles with steaks and the 100" LG TV hung on the patio wall drones on about some sport or other. (Face it, the men aren't going to watch This is Us out there.)
The open spaces come with their own peculiar quirks. Sometimes a wide open home can become a zoo. Let me explain. One lovely, warm spring afternoon, I was privileged to throw open the double front doors of a four bedroom home with very grand picture windows that I also opened wide to allow fabulous rays of afternoon sun to stream into the massive living area. The sofa was covered in plush colorful floral chintz, and I guess if I were a hummingbird I might have been interested in flying on over to take a sip from one of the massive blooms just beckoning in the sunlight. I heard his little buzzing wings before I actually saw the bird, flitting around the sofa, having come right through the inviting double doors to check out the open house. The tiny bird was not cognizant of the great scene he was about to cause because I had no idea how to help him exit the premises now that he'd decided to take a tour of the entire home. "Lord, help me catch him." Yes. I really prayed that as I chased him up the stairs toward the master suite. They are very fast. I am not so much. So the bird is beating its little wings, running from the horrifying large blond chasing him throughout the home he'd come to see. I finally stood still. Maybe the bird will light somewhere. Because I couldn't imagine telling the sellers that, well, there might be a hummingbird somewhere in the house. Stopping my hilarious chasing seemed to stop his frantic running away, and there the bird was sitting on the window sill of the upstairs hall window. Stealthily, with all the patience I could muster, I walked to where the bird sat, his little heart pumping the feathers on his chest so that I thought he might burst before I got to him. I cupped my hands as the little creature and I eyed each other. He knew I was coming for him. Faster than I thought I could react, I had the bird in my hands. He didn't flutter. He seemed to know I was his Uber ride back to nature. He did, however, fly like the wind from my hands once I released him to the proper flowers in the yard outside.
Squirrels like open houses, too, by the way. Again with the open doors that allow people and animals to roam freely from the inside to the outside. Only people seem to know to go back outside. Squirrels don't. More heinous than telling the sellers a bird is trapped in the home and they will be coming upon it at some point in time, is letting them know a squirrel lurks...somewhere. And you can't find it. My particular squirrel decided to make his entrance just as I was closing down for the day. Just slipped in to take a look then was more than a little surprised to see an angry real estate professional looking straight into his beady black eyes. I knew I wasn't going to catch him. And, I'm not graceful. So, I was very glad there were no cameras in the home when I found myself chasing the little varmint from room to room in an effort to escort him out the door through which he'd entered. Of course, during this process, a late comer to the open house is calling, "Hello?" (It was well after 4 o'clock... Sheesh!)
"Excuse me," I said. "There is a squirrel in the house and I'm trying to catch it." Why on earth would I say that? Well, I didn't want the rushing squirrel to scare her to death. Fortunately, she thought this was a hilarious caper and helped me ambush and redirect the squirrel. She didn't buy the house, though.
Bottom Line: When you engage a real estate professional to show your home to the public, there is more to it than our just showing up. We have prepared your home, turned on the lights, opened the windows, turned on the music and put all your toilet tops in the down position. If we are great at what we do, we know every home for sale in the area as well as all the homes that have recently closed. Knowing what a home is worth, knowing where the buyers are coming from and targeting them...knowing all the things that make the home unique...makes the open house successful. And sometimes there is this extra thing we do...You're welcome.
The open spaces come with their own peculiar quirks. Sometimes a wide open home can become a zoo. Let me explain. One lovely, warm spring afternoon, I was privileged to throw open the double front doors of a four bedroom home with very grand picture windows that I also opened wide to allow fabulous rays of afternoon sun to stream into the massive living area. The sofa was covered in plush colorful floral chintz, and I guess if I were a hummingbird I might have been interested in flying on over to take a sip from one of the massive blooms just beckoning in the sunlight. I heard his little buzzing wings before I actually saw the bird, flitting around the sofa, having come right through the inviting double doors to check out the open house. The tiny bird was not cognizant of the great scene he was about to cause because I had no idea how to help him exit the premises now that he'd decided to take a tour of the entire home. "Lord, help me catch him." Yes. I really prayed that as I chased him up the stairs toward the master suite. They are very fast. I am not so much. So the bird is beating its little wings, running from the horrifying large blond chasing him throughout the home he'd come to see. I finally stood still. Maybe the bird will light somewhere. Because I couldn't imagine telling the sellers that, well, there might be a hummingbird somewhere in the house. Stopping my hilarious chasing seemed to stop his frantic running away, and there the bird was sitting on the window sill of the upstairs hall window. Stealthily, with all the patience I could muster, I walked to where the bird sat, his little heart pumping the feathers on his chest so that I thought he might burst before I got to him. I cupped my hands as the little creature and I eyed each other. He knew I was coming for him. Faster than I thought I could react, I had the bird in my hands. He didn't flutter. He seemed to know I was his Uber ride back to nature. He did, however, fly like the wind from my hands once I released him to the proper flowers in the yard outside.
Squirrels like open houses, too, by the way. Again with the open doors that allow people and animals to roam freely from the inside to the outside. Only people seem to know to go back outside. Squirrels don't. More heinous than telling the sellers a bird is trapped in the home and they will be coming upon it at some point in time, is letting them know a squirrel lurks...somewhere. And you can't find it. My particular squirrel decided to make his entrance just as I was closing down for the day. Just slipped in to take a look then was more than a little surprised to see an angry real estate professional looking straight into his beady black eyes. I knew I wasn't going to catch him. And, I'm not graceful. So, I was very glad there were no cameras in the home when I found myself chasing the little varmint from room to room in an effort to escort him out the door through which he'd entered. Of course, during this process, a late comer to the open house is calling, "Hello?" (It was well after 4 o'clock... Sheesh!)
"Excuse me," I said. "There is a squirrel in the house and I'm trying to catch it." Why on earth would I say that? Well, I didn't want the rushing squirrel to scare her to death. Fortunately, she thought this was a hilarious caper and helped me ambush and redirect the squirrel. She didn't buy the house, though.
Bottom Line: When you engage a real estate professional to show your home to the public, there is more to it than our just showing up. We have prepared your home, turned on the lights, opened the windows, turned on the music and put all your toilet tops in the down position. If we are great at what we do, we know every home for sale in the area as well as all the homes that have recently closed. Knowing what a home is worth, knowing where the buyers are coming from and targeting them...knowing all the things that make the home unique...makes the open house successful. And sometimes there is this extra thing we do...You're welcome.
Very entertaining and well written. You should consider a writing career on the side.
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